When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?
In the dictionary!

Teacher: "Why do we have a Thanksgiving holiday?"
Student: "So we know when to start Christmas shopping!"

What cat discovered America?
Christofurry Columbus!

Why was the monster tickled when he ate the turkey?
Because he forgot to pluck the feathers!

Asked to write a composition entitled, "What I'm thankful for on Thanksgiving," little Johnny wrote, "I am thankful that I'm not a turkey."

What's the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie?
Your teeth!

What would you get if you crossed a turkey with an octopus?
Eight feather dusters!

Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk?
To hatchet.